Babochka
by BlackFireRaven
Summary: Sometimes a girl needs her mother...spoilers for 3x18 'Broken Home' (one-shot)


**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything in regards to the CW's Nikita. If I did Sean would still be alive and each episode would dedicate at least 10 minutes to Shane, Dillon and Devon being shirtless while Birkhoff throws out some awesome one-liners.

**A/N: **The _**Italics**_ represent characters speaking Russian. I would have tried my hand at actual Russian but I can't type in Cyrillic and I'd rather not butcher the language.

**Babochka**

The shrill of the phone sounded through the house before Katya Udinov answered on the third ring.

"Hello?" she asked hesitantly, as there were only a few people who had this number.

"_**Mama?"**_ her daughter's voice came through the phone softly and she immediately knew something was wrong.

"_**Alexandra? What is it? What's wrong?"**_ Katya asked, trying to keep the panic out of her voice as she heard a sob on the other end.

"_**He's—" **_Alex's voice caught.

"_**What baby? Talk to me," **_Katya soothed.

"_**He's dead. Sean…he's…Sean's dead," **_Alex could barely seem to get the words out.

"_**What?"**_ Katya asked in shock, not sure she had heard her correctly.

On the initial trip to Corfu, Sean Pierce had escorted her, making sure she was settled and safe. He seemed to be an honorable man. Decent, insightful and funnier than she thought anyone gave him credit for. Since then he had accompanied Alex on a couple of visits in which she had gotten the opportunity to observe him a bit more. Especially the way he gazed lovingly at her daughter, as though she were the only thing he needed in the world.

"_**It's all my fault. Mama…Mama, I need you,"**_ Alex got out between sobs.

"_**I'm here. Come to me."**_

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Three days later Alex arrived on her mother's doorstep. Her once sparkling and intelligent eyes were now shadowed and sunken betraying her lack of sleep. Her healthy, glowing cheeks were slightly hollowed showcasing her lack of appetite. She raised a shaky hand and knocked on the door of the small house. A moment later she was greeted by the sight of her mother in the doorway, arms open wide and inviting.

"_**Alexandra," **_her mother's voice greeted softly.

"_**Mama," **_was all Alex could say as she launched herself into her mothers' embrace.

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Katya led Alex upstairs to her bedroom where they remained for over an hour. Mother and daughter curled together on the bed. Katya lay beside her, gently stroking Alex's hair as she had when she was a young girl. She continued to wait patiently for her to speak, though she had not done so since they had met at the front door.

"I never told him. I never said it out loud," Alex finally spoke, her voice hoarse from pain and disuse.

"Told him what?" Katya quietly asked.

"I never told him that I loved him. Even in those last moments all I could get out was that he was the most important thing to me. I feel like I wasted so much time. Like I couldn't give him everything he needed. Now I'll never be able to tell him. He'll never really know," Alex wept, her tears falling more freely now that she'd given voice to the thoughts that plagued her.

"Oh, honey, he knew. He knew you loved him. He accepted you for who you are. For all that you are," Katya assured her, conveying with a mothers' intuition what she knew to be true.

"I want him back!" Alex shouted, her words undulating with a deep anguish that stole Katya's breath away.

Looking at Alex, helplessness consumed her as she realized there was really nothing she could do but lay there…be there. This horrible situation had arisen so fast and Alex had no choice but to live through it slow. There was no way around. No magical fix. Nothing and no one for her capable daughter to shoot or fight that would bring back the one thing she wanted most in the world.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. I feel so lost…so empty. I can't even be sure if my thoughts are my own anymore," Alex said, her keening quieting.

"Alexandra, look at me," Katya urged her daughter to turn and face her.

She gently wiped the tears that continuously fell from Alex's swollen eyes and gazed at the young woman who believed her heart to be irrevocably shattered.

"I may not understand everything that has happened and I imagine you feel crippled beyond belief by this loss, but there is something I have faith in. Something that I think you should have faith in as well. You, my beautiful Alexandra, are a fighter; a survivor. It doesn't matter what gets thrown your way, you can and will overcome it. And sometimes you'll need someone to lean on. Sean can't be that person anymore—" Katya broke off when Alex let out a tortured wail and turned her head from her.

The older woman cupped the younger woman's cheeks and forced her to meet her eyes.

"He is gone but the memories and love he left with you are not. If you feel that the pain and sorrow are becoming too heavy a burden to carry alone I will be here to share it with you. I'm not the only one either. Your friends, Nikita, Michael, Seymour…they'll be there too. You are not alone."

Katya swept a loving hand comfortingly through Alex's hair and with a small, sure smile said, "One day, my _**babochka**_, you will fly again."

A deep sigh escaped Alex's lips before her tears began falling incessantly once more and she buried herself in her mothers' warmth.

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Some hours later as she watched her daughter sleep, Katya began to suspect that the true depth of her mourning had only just begun. But she also believed that her formidable and resilient Alexandra, would make it through and come out the other side even stronger. And when that day comes, Katya has no doubt that wherever Sean Pierce is, he'll be smiling the boyish smile he seemed to reserve for the young Russian woman who had stolen his heart.


End file.
